Parent Like a Hockey Mom! Lipstick Optional...

" A GOOD hockey player plays where the puck is...A GREAT hockey player plays where the puck is going to be!"

~ Wayne Gretzky

"A GOOD mom deals with whatever behavior her child throws her way...A GREAT mom anticipates his next move."

~Wendy Young, Founder, Kidlutions(tm)

Ever wish you had a PENALTY BOX in your house? Those referees in the hockey games sure make it look fairly easy. The player messes up, the referee blows the whistle and points to the penalty box. If the player argues with the referee, extra time can be added for "unsportsmanlike conduct". Having spent my fair share of time in hockey arenas across the midwest, I have made some observations that translate well into parenting.

If you watch a hockey game closely, you will see that the refs do NOT become emotionally involved with whatever infraction the player has engaged in.

They do NOT:

~Raise their voice

~Roll their eyes

~Cross their arms across their chest

~Wag their finger at the player in question

~Furrow their brows

~Shout out: "How many times have I told you not to...."

~Say, "This is driving me crazy...cut it out."

~Show any emotion whatsoever

While we can argue that the reason the players go right into the penalty box is a function of not being biologically related to the referee, I think that it has a lot more to do with the fact that the refs do not become emotionally involved.

The last time junior acted up, did it rev up your engine, too? Did you give him an emotional fireworks display that he found a little more entertaining than you intended?

Spin-doctor tip: The next time you feel your blood pressure rising, take a deep breath, keep control of yourself, and think like a "ref". Keep your own emotions in check and see if things don't work out better in the long run. Zebra-stripes, whistles...and lipstick optional!

Wordless Wednesday: What CAN Your Kid Do?

"Spin-Doctor Parenting" is featuring Wordless Wednesdays...because a picture can say a thousand words.

We don't want to feature just ANY picture, though! We want your pictures of your kids doing something...anything that shows them accomplishing something. At "Spin-Doctor Parenting", we know that even the little things in life can be a big deal.

So start sending in your pics of your kids doing something spectacular! Riding a bike, tying her shoes, reading a book...
it all counts!

We can publish as much information (or as little) as you like! We'll accept pictures with face shots and those with none...we respect your privacy!

Simply contact us at compcounseling@sbcglobal.net and put KIDS THAT CAN in the subject line. We'll need a jpeg attachment of the picture!

We can't wait to see what your kid CAN do!

Wordless Wednesday: Kids That Can!

These 9 and 11-year-old Michigan kids

put up this new tent by themselves!

They beat their mother to it! BRAVO!

Piggy-backs and Bear Hugs

Mother Nature is wonderful.

Children get
too old for piggy-back rides

just about the same time

they get too heavy for them.

~Author Unknown

Piggy-back rides, like some of the other pleasures of early childhood, are outgrown far too soon! But just because junior outgrows being slung over your shoulders does not mean he has outgrown his need for physical contact with you.

Most of us know intuitively, and numerous studies confirm, the need for ongoing physical contact for our kids. As social creatures, we never outgrow our need for physical touch. In fact, many of the elderly people I have had the pleasure of working with have shared that they enjoy twice-weekly trips to the salon, for that very reason.

So what to do when you can no longer play airplane or other games that require you to physically lift your offspring off of the ground? Here we give a few tips on things you might find helpful:

1. Bear Hugs - Dole out plenty of hugs. Bear hugs help, especially with teen boys. If your child gives you the cold-shoulder, persist anyways. You can even tell him/her, I know you don't like this, but I just can't help myself...don't worry, you'll get used to it.

2. Car-versations - With our highly mobile society, we often spend more time in transit than we did two decades ago. Capitalize on this time with your 'tween and teen for converstion and "catching up". Talking in the car is less threatening because your teen does not have to make eye-contact. This can offer a happy middle-ground for 'tweens and teens that are hard to engage.

3. Never give up, never surrender - If your 'tween or teen is sullen and disinterested in carrying on a conversation that goes beyond, "Where did you put my new jeans?", do not give up. Continue to do your best to engage your teen and let him or her know that you are there for him/her. He or she is counting on you to do this very thing.

Spin-doctor tip: You KNOW your child needs you to provide shelter, food, warmth and LOVE. Don't be discouraged by his or her seeming disinterest in your hugs. Give them anyways...and give them in abundance. If you are a parent with small children, keep heaping the hugs on now...and NEVER stop!

Spin-doctor Parenting

"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied.... The suffragettes refused to be polite in demanding what they wanted or grateful for getting what they deserved. Works for me."

~Anna Quindlen~

(For our inaugural blog post, we are just jumping right in...because that's how parenting is sometimes, too...we hope the water is warm!)

There are times when we as parents are perched precariously on the fence between sanity and...well...almost out of our minds. At no other time is this more true than when we are dealing with difficult behaviors from one (or all) of our offspring!

Happy is the parent who has discovered how to "spin" the qualities that sometimes show themselves as intense and difficult behaviors, into a quality that will serve her child well, when channeled properly. Anna Quidlen in the quote above, shows us just how to be a "spin-doctor" when it comes to parental prowess.

What you tell yourself in your head about your child's behavior has a huge impact to how you deal with it, how you respond, and how you help your child change the behavior in the future! That is the essence of "Spin-Doctor Parenting", and that is exactly what we aim to help you accomplish here.

So queue up your your proverbial record players and get ready to "spin". In a world where kids dish out plenty of hijinx, we'll help show you how to keep your head on straight.