Squelching Sibling Rivalry



Sibling rivalry is something that has the ability to make normally composed parents become unglued. But, it doesn't have to be that way. View the fabulous Amy McCready, of Positive Parenting Solutions, in the clip above. While on the Today Show, she discussed some wonderful tips on managing sibling rivalry in your home. Amy's approach is solid and will have you feeling pulled back together in no time.

Still feeling squeamish about the whole sibling situation? One good question to ask yourself is, "Whose problem is this?" That one simple question can totally change how you view sibling squirmishes. As Amy said, and most would agree, you clearly need to intervene if the disagreement becomes physical. But, when we step in at the at first sign of trouble, we are robbing our children of the opportunity to learn crucial social skills that will serve them for a lifetime.

Think of it this way: How many kids have a parent present to help them solve conflict on the playground, in the locker-room...and later...in the boardroom? NONE. EXACTLY.

I know what you're thinking, "It's so much easier to just step in and solve it...and a lot more quiet, too." While that may be true, you don't allow your child to do the thinking to build those connections in his/her brain that helps him/her handle conflict in the future.

Younger kids can use some support in negotiating conflicts, but as they grow, our goal should be to help them become more proficient independently. One of our favorite tools to do just that is the The Pocket Referee, which won a Kidlutions Preferred Product Award for Social-Emotional Development.

As always, we wish you happy parenting!

Comments

meaina said…
Children must be safe, know their basic needs are met, to siblings rivalry understand individually, and loved. It sounds simple, but it is a challenge constantly little to do in some families.
meaina said…
siblings rivalry with the parenting territory. If you feel uncomfortable, the competition between siblings, so maybe it's better to stop a child.
Gina Osher said…
I don't know why it took me so long to finally read this post, but I've had it saved in my inbox for MONTHS! I just ordered the pocket referee....I absolutely LOVE the idea. I think it might work for our 5 1/2 year old twins who find a way to argue about EVERYTHING! :)
Thank you, Wendy...you always have the best advice. xo
Hi Gina,

Thanks for dropping in and thanks for your kind words. You are such a great mom...always thinking about new ways to help parents of multiple have happier, more peaceful and FUN households! I love what YOU do!

~Wendy =)

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