Six Steps to Confident Kids and Teens

Six Steps to Confident Kids and Teens

Kids and teens (and adults for that matter) who are confident do a few specific things consistently.  If your child or teen is already engaging in the mental processes listed below, they are already on their way to success in the confidence department.  If your child could use a bit more support in this area, pick one item at a time on the list to work with them on.  When all of the steps are in place and used on a regular basis, your child’s or teen’s self-assurance will grow.

Here we go:

1.      Confident kids/teens are able to identify what they're doing right in their lives.

Each of us is familiar with our own shortcomings, but what about all those things we do well? Everyone excels at some tasks or activities. Confident individuals pay attention to and focus on those things versus the things they may struggle with.

·        Have your child or teen make a list of what they believe they're good at. 

·        Ask them to consider this: no one in the world has the same unique qualities and strengths that you do in the way that you do. 

·        Ask your child to consider what they are doing right. If they know the answer to this, their self-confidence will bloom.

2.       Confident kids/teens “act as if”, even when the chips are down.

Most kids and teens can identify times and situations in their history when they didn't feel particularly positive. Ask them to think about how they handled those situations to have a successful outcome.  This can provide them with clues about how to proceed in similar situations.

Remind kids/teens of the following:

·        On your good days, you put your chin up and plowed forward into the situation at hand. You didn’t allow self-doubt to creep in. You “acted as if”.  You pretended you believed you could do it, and chances are, you did! 

·        Going forward, on the days you feel the least self-confident, think of a successful role-model you wish to be more like and pretend that you're confident like he or she is.

·        Believe in yourself. Have faith that you'll make it through.

3.       Confident kids/teens can list their strong points.

Ask your kids: What character traits do you have to offer that are of great benefit to you or others? 

Are you patient, kind or caring? 

Identify personality characteristics of which you are proud. 

Ponder your strong points. 

Knowing yourself will enhance your self-confidence.

4.       Confident kids/teens notice when they do something well. 

Maybe younger students just aced a spelling test. Perhaps a teen just cleaned up their car and it looks awesome.

·        Help kids focus on a daily basis on the times they excel. Maybe your child helped pick up someone’s dropped books, or helped a friend solve an algebraic equation.  

·        Little efforts add up to build your self-confidence.

5.      Confident kids/teens celebrate their progress. 

Help kids take notice of their good fortune. 

·        When your child or teen meets or surpasses goals, celebrate! Help them learn to celebrate their own successes, even if it just means acknowledging it in their own heads. 

6.      Confident kids/teens choose optimism as a daily approach to everything. 

Help your child or teen strive to be positive in life's journey. 

·        When you make the decision to find the best in whatever life brings you, your self-confidence will soar.

Helping your child or teen strengthen their self-confidence is within reach. Helping them know their strong points, and celebrating the attainment of their goals are just a few of strategies that help your child or teen build their self-confidence. These skills, once learned, last a lifetime.

What would you add?