The Making of a Mother: For all moms, but especially for moms of "intense" kids!

Being a mother isn't simply a matter of having children.

To think that is as absurd as believing that

having a piano makes one a musician.

~Sydney Harris~

This motherhood gig requires much more than meets the eye. It seems inconceiveable that we could accurately describe to another what motherhood really is. While we could try, it would seem we would somehow fall short.

It's the entering of another dimension previously unknown to us. It's the spiraling of emotions, the signing up for a certain set of worries that we never knew existed prior to the moment we were born into motherhood. It's the stretching and the bending of our minds, our character and our wills.

It's the becoming somehow better than we once were...the same, yet different. Ourselves, yet someone else. The "I-ness" takes on a "we-ness" that makes everything look different. Things that once mattered somehow recede into the shadows, while things we never considered start to matter a whole lot more.

It polishes our character, sanding and shaping our rough spots as we reach to become something more. It's the striving to balance holding on while learning to let go a little more each day. It's the pouring of our souls into something that we hold so close, yet prepare to part with one day.

No, a mother isn't a mother simply by virtue of having a child. And the pianist isn't a pianist because she owns a piano. The pianist is a pianist because she practices and practices until she gets things right. She makes plenty of mistakes along the way in the quest for a "perfect" performance. And while the "perfect" performance may be elusive, she can get pretty close.

Most would never notice a note that was held a millisecond too long or a tempo that goes a nanosecond too quickly. They would be caught up in the enjoyment of the overall performance...the sound that lingers in their minds.

And the mother who becomes a mother is such because she plods along in spite of the long hours spent perfecting her art. 

Never is this more true than for a mother of an "intense", "challenging" or "spirited" child.

She plods on even when the results of her practice seem to yield few results...when the fruits of her labor are held out just beyond her arms' reach...when she's not sure if the hours invested provide any return...she plods on...and on...because she sees, what others cannot even begin to see exists within her child...and even when the child cannot see it in himself. She holds out hope of what can be...of what is yet to become...of all that is possible.

And someday, the pianist may play in a concerto in front of the masses, who will rise to their feet in applause for the years of practice behind the magnificient performance. And someday, the rewards will be evident to the mother who, despite a questioning mind on the benefit of her efforts, plodded on! And her true value as a mother will not be judged based upon an individual situation or cirmcumstance or set of circumstances, as much as by the feeling of her that lingers in her child's heart.

Spin-Doctor tip: While we practice and perfect the art of motherhood, let us remind ourselves that the things that come easy don't perfect us nearly as much as those things that are difficult. Dealing with difficult and challenging situations is as much about changing ourselves as it is about changing our children!