Keep Your Cool So Your Kids Can, Too!
We've written here about parents keeping their cool and calming down on several occasions. You can see our whole collection here. This topic is that important and deserves the attention we give it, because if we can’t calm ourselves down, our kids won’t be able to help themselves do it, either. It's a simple fact.
An Emotional Apprenticeship
It’s the very first step in helping us raise healthy, happy kids who are able to manage their own emotions and get along well in society. There is no shortcut here. We have to master our own emotions so our kids can master theirs! It’s an emotional apprenticeship of sorts…and the parent is the master teacher.
It Isn’t Easy
As a mom of three, I know firsthand that it’s not easy to maintain our own patience in the face of emotional meltdowns from our kids. Trust me, I know. We have our limits and we are human. Not one of us is perfect, however, like anything else, patience can be cultivated and developed, with some effort and focus. Every single one of us can become more patient by becoming more aware of our own emotions in the heat of the moment with our children, and becoming more intentional about our responses. Our kids are counting on us to do so.
If we can’t do it for ourselves, we’re going to have a really hard time teaching our kids to do it. When we focus on mastering a strategy for ourselves, we are much more effective in teaching it to our children.
More Than Meets the Eye
Here’s why: When we interact with our children, there’s a lot more going on below the surface than meets the eye. It’s not just us and a child, it’s us, a child and the interaction that takes place in the space between us. This complicates things just a little, but it doesn’t have to. When we learn to manage our own responses, our limbic (emotional) brain calms down and can better co-regulate what’s happening inside our child’s limbic brain. It’s a delicate dance and once we know our BIGGER brain is used to help calm what’s in our child’s SMALLER brain, we can be better prepared for the task at hand.
Want specifics on what you can do to control your emotions better? We’ll be sharing a handful of tips in our next post! Stay tuned! Once it goes live, we’ll link to it right here!
BONUS: Patient parents have happier and better-adjusted children. If you’re patient, your children are more likely to be patient with others as well, including your future grandchildren. An increase in your patience helps everyone.
See our entire collection of resources that help your kids calm down, relax and learn ways to cope with BIG feelings. You'll find therapeutic strength activities and exercises that are fun and help kids gain skills that change their lives for the better. Go HERE to see it all.