8 Ways to Cultivate Parental Patience
8
Ways to Cultivate Parental Patience
We’re
only human, which makes us the perfect fit when it comes to raising other
humans. Because of our humanity, we are susceptible to impatience. The times when
our impatience makes its presence known may not be some of our most shining moments
of parenthood, but these times need not define us. Like anything else, patience can be cultivated
and developed. That’s good news for all of us!
Patient
parents have happier and more well-adjusted children. If you’re patient, your
children are more likely to be patient with others as well, including your
future grandchildren. That’s good news for everyone, as it has a ripple effect
reaching far beyond the confines of our homes.
Here, we share eight ideas on cultivating patient parenting:
1. All the world’s a stage. Here’s a classic tip that really
works. Everyone’s behavior improves when they believe they have an audience.
Maintaining your composure is much more likely if you pretend that someone is
watching you.
2. Remember back. Sometimes we forget that we were
young once, too. If you can see things from your child’s perspective, you’ll be
more likely to keep your emotions under control.
3. Take a break. Sometimes the smartest move is to
disengage for a few minutes. Give yourself a chance to collect yourself
and then return with a calm composure. Notice how much better your conduct
yourself after taking a few minutes.
4. Focus on the long-term. Kids are just kids. We all know
they’re not perfect. You’re their teacher, so use a challenging moment to teach
them something valuable.
·
Demonstrating
patience in a tough moment will show your children what patience is like. Point
out to them how they can use the same positive techniques for beneficial
results.
5. Review session. When the situation is over, ask
yourself how you could’ve handled the situation better. Then visualize yourself
handling the situation in the new way. If you do this enough times, you
patience will continuously improve. This is the road to developing a high level
of patience.
6. See things in the context of
development. Children’s
brains aren’t even close to developed…not in the least. They
rely on you to help them manage BIG, over-the-top feelings. Stop
punishing children for not knowing how to manage big emotions. Avoid
reprimanding children for their skill-deficits. Instead, focus on
skill-building for a better tomorrow.
7. Count to 10 or take 10 deep
breaths. Even
better, do both at the same time. You can avoid your initial impulse to
overreact. You’ll be able to feel the frustration melting away. Taking a moment
to calm yourself provides an excellent model to your children about how it’s
done. Taking deep breaths help you unhook from your own emotional brain and
access your prefrontal cortex (the area of your brain that makes good, solid
decisions).
8. Set a goal to be more patient. Intention counts for a lot. Start
each day with the intention of being a more patient person in general. Practice
patience with everyone in every situation. If you’re a more patient
spouse, friend, and employee, you’re bound to be a more patient parent, too.
·
Having
a goal creates a target and helps to bring about focus. It’s challenging to
become more patient if you don’t have patience as a goal. Give it a try.
Patience
can be nurtured.
You have to take the first step and be very intentional about it. An added
bonus is that patient parents build stronger relationships with their children.
Don’t delay…start being more patient today!
How do
you practice patience? We’d love to hear about it!
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Until next time,
Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD, is the founder of Kidlutions and co-author of BLOOM: 50 Things to Say, Think and Do with Anxious, Angry and Over-the-Top Kids, co-creator of BLOOM Brainsmarts, and creator of The Joyful Parent. She is the author of numerous workbooks and resources to help from the preschool through the teen years.
Follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook! You can also find her @thetenacioustherapist on Instagram, where she helps other therapists create a life they love. She'd love to see your smiling face there! Affiliate links may be used in this post. Please see our full disclaimer, located at the top of our page for more information.
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