3 Tips to Keep You Out of Damage Control with Kids
No matter what you're doing: running an online business, CEO'ing (is that a verb?) for a Fortune 500 Company, running a bakery, hosting a soiree, teaching a classroom or running a household, rule number one is to stay out of damage control. Preventing problems before they crop up or setting things up so that problems don't have a chance to start is a pretty darned good idea.
A Definition
Let's get an operational definition of damage control:
Therefore, damage control is an afterthought, something we do to clean up our messes from earlier. Something we'd never have to be in, if we took a little extra time and care with forethought!
Forethought
We propose a little forethought. Thinking things through on the front-end, so you don't have scramble to sweep it all up and work doubly hard on the other side. Seems easy, right? Makes total sense.
Only, when it comes to working with and raising kids, it's hardly as easy at it seems. It's completely possible, though! We've boiled it down to three tips!
Our Three Best Tips to Avoid Damage Control with Kids
1. Know Thyself - We had to go there. It's an absolute must. We have to review our own baggage and pay attention to the things that trigger us, then try to resolve or minimize how our own stuff wreaks havoc in interpersonal relationships, especially when it comes to parenting or teaching kids. There are lots of reasons this is true, but let's suffice to say that kids COUNT ON US to be firing on all cylinders and to be able to "be the bigger person in the bigger body with the bigger brain", and be prepared and ready to support and guide them when things run amok. It's our absolute best chance at managing tough situations, not only with kids, but with everyone. Read more about keeping your own stuff in check HERE! There you'll find links to several posts on calming down!
2. Understand the Human Condition - Understanding brain development (on both a cognitive and an emotional level), child development and human motivation, as well as some of the tricky stuff that keeps us stuck, goes a far way in helping keep ourselves out of judgment...and in the moment, so we can respond more effectively, more compassionately and in a much more informed capacity. It's incredible how calm we can remain when we know that a child (or anyone) is not going out of their way to unnerve us! We can leave that all behind and provide much more meaningful responses and interventions.
3. Empathy: It's All Love - We say this freely in our language, as a way of saying, "everything's good", "it's okay" or "no worries". BUT...sometimes that's just lip-service. What if we really believed it? What if our responses were empathetic and AUTHENTIC? What if really focused on meaning this when we say it? Empathy is an absolute must to keep us out of damage control, only it's not often thought of as a crucial piece to "keeping the peace". We don't avoid conflict here at Kidlutions...we promote direct, healthy discussions on what is happening...and that includes situations that are conflictual...but inherent in those conversations is empathy. Really trying to understand the other person's point of view. Imagining what the "other" may be experiencing and feeling...and being able to convey that understanding. Try it and see.
What things work best to keep you out of damage control with kids (or anyone, for that matter)?
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