The Rumor Mill: How to Avoid Gossip and Help Your Teens Do the Same
Trying to avoid getting swept away by the gusty winds of gossip? Good for you! Way to model healthy behavior for your tweens and teens.
I'd like to say that nixing gossip is as simple as just saying "Hard pass," but I believe it's a bit more nuanced than that! So let's get to it! Here are a few time-tested ways to do so:
1.
Sort the Wheat from the Chaff:
o
Not all gossip is created equal. Some is as harmless as a
butterfly’s whisper; other times, it’s a venomous serpent. Discern between
the two.
o
Harmless gossip: “Did you hear about Susan’s new cat? She always dresses him in bowties!
o
Toxic gossip:
“Sally from the main office is cheating on her husband.” (Even if true, people don’t
need to know that.)
2.
Question Your Intentions:
o
Ask yourself: Why do I want to share this tidbit? Is it
necessary? Does it serve a purpose? Would I say it to their face? (That is one of my favorite questions on the litmus test of gossip! If I wouldn't share it if they aren't in the room, it's best to keep it to myself!)
o
If your motivation is to feel superior or boost your
status, pause. Reflect. Maybe knit a tiny gossip-deterring scarf. ;)
3.
Withdraw Attention:
o
Gossipers thrive on an audience. When someone spills the
tea, don’t sip it. Change the subject or pretend you’re
suddenly fascinated by the wallpaper pattern.
o Remember, silence is your superpower.
4.
Shift Your Thoughts:
o
After a limited venting session (we all need one), redirect
your mental GPS. Think of rainbows, unicorns, or the mysteries of quantum
physics.
o
The brain, like a fickle cat, can be lured away from gossip
with shiny distractions.
5.
Empathy, My Dear Watson:
o
Imagine your life as an open book. Would you want others
dissecting your chapters? Probably not.
o
Put yourself in their shoes.
Would you appreciate being the subject of whispered tales? Unlikely.
6.
Avoid Gossip Triggers:
o
Certain situations are gossip breeding grounds. Office
water coolers, family gatherings, and social media comment sections—danger
zones!
o When the gossip winds blow, seek shelter elsewhere. Perhaps under a cozy blanket with a good book?
Real Help for Teens and Gossip
1. Avoiding Gossip
- Choose Wisely: Remind your teen that not every story is theirs to tell. Encourage them to be selective about whom they share things with.
- Golden Rule: Treat others as you’d like to be treated. Confidential options, like talking to parents, siblings, or trusted friends, can help relieve tension around secrets.
- Healthy Boundaries: Teach your teen that sometimes staying out of the spotlight is the best strategy.
2. Stopping the Cycle
- Be Part of the Solution: If your teen witnesses gossip, they can choose not to spread it further. They hold the power to break the cycle.
- Keep Secrets: When someone shares information, teens can decide whether they’re comfortable keeping it to themselves.
- Let Go: If gossip targets them, encourage your teen to rise above revenge and focus on moving forward.
Remember, dear seeker of kindness, gossip isn’t just idle chatter; it’s a dance with shadows. So, step lightly, guard your words, and let kindness be your compass.
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Until next time,
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