5 Ways Calm Parents Help Their Kids



Have It to Teach It: Self-Regulation Skills 

Self-regulation is a critical skill for both children and adults. As parents, our ability to manage our emotions, reactions, and behaviors significantly impacts our ability to teach our children to do the same, and ultimately it impacts the trajectory of our children’s development. 



Five Ways Calm Parents Help Their Kids

Let’s explore why parents need self-regulation skills and how they can, in turn, positively influence their children to develop the same:

1. Modeling Behavior

Children are keen observers. They learn by watching their parents navigate life’s challenges. When parents demonstrate self-regulation—remaining calm during stress, handling frustration, and making thoughtful decisions—they provide a powerful example. 

Here’s how modeling behavior benefits children:

  • Emotional Intelligence: Children learn to recognize and manage their emotions effectively. They witness healthy coping mechanisms and learn to express themselves constructively.


2. Creating a Supportive Environment

A stable and nurturing environment is essential for a child’s emotional well-being. When parents practice self-regulation, they:

  • Provide Security: A calm parent helps a child feel safe. Children learn that emotions can be managed, which reduces anxiety and promotes trust.

3. Teaching Coping Strategies

Parents equipped with self-regulation skills can teach their children practical coping strategies:

  • Deep Breathing: Teach kids to take deep breaths during stressful moments. This simple technique helps regulate emotions and promotes relaxation. Practice these skills when everyone is calm, so they are easier to access during stressful times. 


4. Enhancing Parent-Child Interactions

Effective communication is vital for parent-child relationships. Self-regulated parents:

  • Listen Actively: Attentive listening validates a child’s feelings. It encourages open communication and empathy.

5. Promoting Emotional Well-Being

Parents who prioritize self-regulation benefit themselves and their children:

  • Resilience: Managing stress and emotions contributes to a parent’s mental health, and in turn, the mental health of their children.
Struggling with Your Own Reactivity?

Struggling to support your child due to your own reactivity? We are all human, and it can be tough when we get stuck in our own emotional brains. 

Here are a few of my fave books to help parents better help their children:



Bloom: 50 Things to Say, Think and Do with Anxious, Angry and Over-the-Top Kids (Full disclosure...I co-authored this book, so it's clearly an approach I embrace!)


Resources to Help Your Kids with Self-Regulation 

Need a Quick and Helpful Resource 

for BIG Emotions?

For ages 7 and Up,

and Younger Kids, with Guidance!


Click image above to go to resource!

The way we support our children daily makes a significant difference in their overall ability to manage BIG emotions. The resource above makes easy work of helping kids identify ways to calm down and improve their overall self-regulation. It's a helpful resource for kids ages 7+.


Click image above to go to resource!



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For Early Childhood


Click image above to go to resource!


If you are parenting or teaching younger children with intense emotions, you'll definitely want to check out one of our all-time best selling resources, Ice Cream Cones and Frozen Pops.


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Until next time,




Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD, is  the founder of Kidlutions and co-author of BLOOM: 50 Things to Say, Think and Do with Anxious, Angry and Over-the-Top Kids, co-creator of BLOOM Brainsmarts, and creator of The Joyful Parent. She is the author of numerous workbooks and resources to help from the preschool through the teen years. 

Follow her on PinterestInstagramTwitter and Facebook! You can also find her @thetenacioustherapist on Instagram, where she helps other therapists create a life they love. She'd love to see your smiling face there! Affiliate links may be used in this post. Please see our full disclaimer, located at the top of our page for more information.

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