Emotional Intensity in Gifted Children
Emotional Intensity in Gifted Children: Nurturing Their Inner Worlds
More than a High IQ
If you are parenting a gifted child, you may have already noticed that giftedness isn’t solely about intellectual prowess; it encompasses an emotional dimension as well. Just as gifted children’s thinking is more complex and profound, their emotions follow suit.
And that's not always easy...for the child...or the parents.
We know that gifted children have complex emotions, that intellect and emotion are inextricably linked and that parents are tasked with nurturing their child's emotions and inner worlds.
The Demands of Parenting Gifted Children
In comparison to parents of average-ability children, parents of gifted children typically recognize the extra demands of their parenting journey. They face increased parenting challenges that require them to develop strategies that guide and support their child’s exceptional needs [1]. This increased burden of responsibility can and often does exacerbate stress in parents of gifted children, compared with other parents [2].
Add to this the fact that many educational systems are not prepared to meet the complex academic and social-emotional needs of gifted children, and that these are typically left unaddressed [3]. Invariably, the parents of many gifted children tend to take a highly active stance in making educational decisions such as school placement and are closely involved in the psychosocial adjustment of their children [4].
Let’s delve into the intricacies of emotional intensity in these
exceptional individuals.
1. The
Complexity of Gifted Emotions
- Emotional Depth: Gifted children experience a vast range of emotions simultaneously. Their emotional palette is vivid, absorbing, and commanding. It’s not merely about feeling more; it’s about experiencing the world in a quiveringly alive manner. Let that thought marinate for a moment. Gifted kids simply experience their emotions in a much more intense way.
- Expressing Intensity: Emotional intensity manifests in various ways:
- Positive and Negative Feelings: Gifted children feel joy and sorrow intensely. When they are happy it's like they shout it from the rooftops and when they are sad...they can bellow from the depths of their souls.
- Complex Emotions: They might swiftly transition
from one emotion to another. This can look and feel exhausting.
- Identification with Others: Empathy runs
deep; they may feel others’ emotions keenly. They can be moved to tears watching the suffering of others, both in media and in real life.
- Bodily Symptoms: Tense stomachs, sinking
hearts, blushing—emotions resonate physically for gifted kids. They can feel their feelings with their whole body!
2. The
Link Between Emotions and Intellect
- Fuel for Passion: Emotional intensity fuels their zest for life, passion for learning, and drive to express their talents.
- Intellect and Emotion: These two facets are inseparable. Together, they shape gifted individuals profoundly. Giftedness isn't solely about IQ; it's about the fusion of intellect and emotions, creating a vibrant inner world where brilliance and sensitivity co-exist.
3. Nurturing Your Emotionally Intense, Gifted Child
- Acceptance: The most crucial step is to accept their emotions. Gifted children need to feel understood and supported. Telling them to "calm down" or just "relax" or to "stop overreacting" invalidates their experience and is not helpful.
- Self-Awareness: Encourage them to use their intellect to develop self-awareness and self-acceptance.
- Empathy: A little empathy and support for intense feelings goes a long way. Need more help with this? Dr. Lynne Kenney and I put our heart and soul into this book to help all parents and early childhood educators support the emotional world of their children, gifted or not: BLOOM: 50 Things to Say, Think and Do with Anxious, Angry and the Over-the-Top Kids. It can be an invaluable resource!
Conclusion
The emotional lives of gifted children places more demands on parents, due to asynchronous development, increased emotional sensitivity, and a tendency toward negative perfectionism. Attuned parents see the need to respond appropriately to the inner experiences of their child.
Emotional intensity in gifted children isn’t a flaw; it’s a testament to their rich inner lives. As parents and educators, let’s embrace their intensity, nurture their emotional well-being, and celebrate their vibrant existence.
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1. Jolly J.L., Treffinger D.J., Inman T.F., Smutny J.F. Parenting Gifted Children. Prufrock Press; Waco, TX, USA: 2011. [Google Scholar]
2. Renati R., Bonfiglio N.S., Pfeiffer S. Challenges raising a gifted child: Stress and resilience factors within the family. Gift. Educ. Int. 2017;33:145–162. doi: 10.1177/0261429416650948. [CrossRef] [Google Scholar]
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