Loving Your Spirited Child Through the Storm

 

Parenting a child with strong reactions and big feelings is akin to sailing through tempests. The winds of defiance, the waves of unpredictability, and the lightning strikes of tantrums can leave even the most seasoned parents feeling shipwrecked. 

Ahoy, matey! I know it firsthand! Fear not, these tough moments do not last forever, even though they feel as if they will!

In this article, we’ll hoist our metaphorical sails and explore how to navigate these tempests with creativity, resilience, and a dash of humor.

1. The Art of Weathering the Storm

The Unpredictable Forecast

Your child’s moods can change faster than a summer squall. One moment, they’re a sunbeam; the next, a thundercloud. Embrace the unpredictability. After all, life would be dull without a few lightning bolts.

The Captain’s Log

Keep a journal—a chronicle of your parenting adventures. Document the highs (that time they built a Lego castle) and the lows (the epic broccoli battle). Years later, you’ll look with nostalgia at the scribbled notes: “Day 37: Negotiated bedtime peace treaty.”

2. Crafting Your Life Raft

The SOS Signal

When the tantrum tsunami hits, send out an SOS (Soothing Our Souls). 

Sing silly songs, blow bubbles, or dance like nobody’s watching. Creativity is your life raft; cling to it. 

And guess what? 

Singing, blowing bubbles for your child to pop and dancing...all of these things help regulate nervous systems! 

That is HUGE! 

Music always seems to soothe the savage beast, as well.

The Compass of Empathy

Remember, your child’s storms are their way of communicating. Decode their Emotional Morse Code.

“I hate broccoli” might mean “I had a really tough day,” or "Nobody played with me at recess." Respond with empathy, not a life jacket lecture.

Your child is counting on you to bouy them up. You are a lighthouse in the dense fog. You'll light the way back calm for your child. 



3. Treasure Hunts and Hidden Islands

X Marks the Spot

Create treasure hunts around the house. Clues lead to chocolate coins or bedtime stories. Your child’s eyes will sparkle like pirate doubloons. Bonus: It tires them out for smoother sailing.

Time spent with your child in focused fun is an investment in better self-regulation and behavior for your child. 

The Isle of Imagination

Visit the Isle of Imagination. Build forts, invent secret languages, and explore magical lands. Your child’s creativity is the compass guiding you through uncharted waters.

4. Navigating the Bermuda Triangle

The Siren Song of Screen Time

Beware the digital sirens! Limit screen-time; otherwise, your child might vanish into the Bermuda Triangle of YouTube videos. Instead, set sail for real adventures—leaf piles, bug hunts, and cloud gazing.

The Lighthouse of Laughter

When the waves get rough, steer toward laughter. 

Here's the caveat...allow your child to have their big feelings without distracting them from them. And keep in mind that silly jokes, tickle storms, and goofy faces can offer just the right amount of levity when dosed out appropriately. Remember, a child’s laughter is the brightest lighthouse.

BONUS: Laughter is one of the greatest stress reducers at our fingertips! Laughter builds connection. Used at appropriate times, it can be a game-changer!




5. Anchoring in Love

The Harbor of Acceptance

Drop anchor in the harbor of acceptance. Your child isn’t a problem to solve; they’re a person to understand. Love them fiercely, even when their sails are tattered. Even more so in those moments when they are highly vulnerable and highly emotional.


The Constellation of Hope

Look up. 

See those stars? 

Each one represents a moment of resilience, a hug after a storm, a whispered “I love you.” Those constellations guide you home and back to love.




So, fellow storm-tamer, embrace the chaos. Your spirited child is a tempest of potential, a hurricane of heart. And as you weather the gales together, know this: 

You’re not just parenting; you’re captaining a magnificent voyage.

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Until next time,




Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD, is  the founder of Kidlutions and co-author of BLOOM: 50 Things to Say, Think and Do with Anxious, Angry and Over-the-Top Kids, co-creator of BLOOM Brainsmarts, and creator of The Joyful Parent. She is the author of numerous workbooks and resources to help from the preschool through the teen years. 

Follow her on PinterestInstagramTwitter and Facebook! You can also find her @thetenacioustherapist on Instagram, where she helps other therapists create a life they love. She'd love to see your smiling face there! Affiliate links may be used in this post. Please see our full disclaimer, located at the top of our page for more information.

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