Tantrums: What the Research Says
Tantrums: What the Research Says
Tantrums are a natural part of childhood, but they can be challenging for parents to navigate. Research in the past five years has provided valuable insights into the causes of tantrums and effective strategies for managing them. Let's start off with the neuroscience of a tantrum.
The Neuroscience Behind Tantrums
Tantrums occur when a child's emotional regulation system is overwhelmed. The amygdala, the brain's emotional center, becomes hyperactive, while the prefrontal cortex, responsible for self-control, is still developing.
This imbalance makes it difficult for children to manage frustration or distress. Studies have shown that tantrums are often triggered by fatigue, hunger, overstimulation, or unmet needs.
What might look like "manipulation" (I want that candy bar and I can't have it...queue the tantrum) is more likely indicative of poor self-regulation, or the ability to calm down and accept "no" for an answer. While your child doesn't benefit from you giving in and getting them the candy bar, they will greatly benefit from you helping them learn social-emotional coping skills. Even with social-emotional coping skills on board, the brain will still need time to mature before it all comes together.
The Role of Anxiety and Stress
Research highlights that children experiencing anxiety or stress are more prone to tantrums. A study found that tantrum intensity and frequency were positively correlated with higher levels of anxiety in children. This underscores the importance of creating a stable and predictable environment to reduce stressors. Routines are the name of the game here!
Knowing all of the above is one thing, but what's a parent to do when things go sideways and the tantrum is epic? Read on...
Evidence-based Strategies for Parents
Parents play a crucial role in helping children navigate tantrums. Here are some evidence-based strategies:
Stay Calm: Modeling calm behavior helps de-escalate the situation. Deep breathing or counting to ten can help parents maintain composure. As we talk about in BLOOM: 50 Things to Say, Think and Do with Anxious, Angry and Over-the-Top Kids, remember that you are in the BIG body with the BIG brain and your child is counting on YOU to help them navigate wayward emotions. It's really step number one in helping your child.
Validate Emotions: Acknowledge the child's feelings by saying, "I see you're upset." This helps the child feel understood and supported. Other things you could say are:
- "This is hard for you right now."
- "You wish you could have that candy bar, and now is not the time."
- "It doesn't seem fair to you that you can't have a playdate with Clara. I can see how upset and sad you are."
Teach Emotional Regulation: Encourage children to use words to express their feelings and practice calming techniques, such as deep breathing or using a "calm-down corner." If you need more ideas and hands-on resources to help teach your child self-regulation, check out all of our research-based activities and downloads.
Avoid Reinforcing Tantrums: While it's important to comfort a child, avoid giving in to unreasonable demands during a tantrum, as this can reinforce the behavior. Stay strong.
When to Seek Help
While occasional tantrums are normal, frequent or severe tantrums may indicate underlying issues, such as anxiety or developmental delays. Consulting a pediatrician or child therapist can provide additional support and guidance.
By understanding the neuroscience of tantrums and implementing these strategies, parents can help their children develop emotional resilience and navigate challenging moments with greater ease.
See more here:
[Tantrums and Anxiety in Early Childhood: A Pilot Study](https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1084951.pdf)
[6 Surprising Findings About Temper Tantrums](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/behavior-problems-behavior-solutions/202106/6-surprising-findings-about-temper-tantrums)
Until next time,
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