Until the Sun Comes Out Again: Weathering Emotional Storms with Your Child



It Doesn't Last Forever

A mere few weeks ago I was huddled up and gazing outside at the swirling wind, swaying branches and falling snow (yes, really!)  That day reminded me that the weather in the Michigan's Upper Peninsula can be a lot like a child's behavior.  Sometimes unpredictable, sometimes unexpected, but it never lasts forever!  That is the beauty of it.  There's a saying amongst we Yoopers that goes, "If you don't like the weather, wait a few hours!"  It will change. 

When we are dealing with challenging behavior, we need to keep that in mind, too. 

It doesn't last forever! 

It may provide us with some moments of frustration, inconvenience, and perhaps a few headaches.  But our child's misbehavior isn't really about us.  Any more than the weather is. 

Caution: SLOW DOWN!



On that particular day, I had to leave the warmth of my home to pick my daughter up from a get-together with friends.  It was a long drive...in bad weather...and the roads were slippery. I had to adjust for that. I went slower, I took my time.  Because getting home safely was the goal.

When our kids are really challenging, we need to prepare for that, as well.  We need to make adjustments.  We need to slow down, to take our time.  Just like we do for the weather.

Blue Skies

Wishing you blue skies and sunshine as you parent...but most of all, I wish you the ability to see through the emotional storms...and to provide your child with a safe harbor...until the sun comes out again.  And it always does.



Spin-Doctor Tip: Some emotional storms come about because a child does not have the skills to deal with intense emotions like upset and anger.  There is MUCH a parent or caregiver can do help support such children and teach them better coping skills. We'll tell you all about it in our ANGER TOOLBOX FOR KIDS.  Hope to see you there!


 
Click to get FREE downloads to help your child with managing anger!



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Comments

Laurie Wallin said…
Wonderful post! As mom of two sdopted girls with bipolar, the storms are large and frequent. We are big fans of calm time in warm bubble baths. I sit with them through the storm, just listening and praying for them to find the shore again... your word here are so encouraging. Thanks!
Laurie,

You are their anchor...to keep them from drifting too far out...and the lighthouse that provides a beam of light to come back to! They are lucky to have you.

Hugs,
Wendy =)
Thanks, Wendy. I am in the middle of a little breakdown today, myself. My 2.5 year old is so loud and seems to have no understanding of what "quiet time" means. It's like sensory overload in our house (daily...hourly...non stop) and my nerves are SHOT.

I asked my husband if I could drive away today for a few minutes. To calm down. Earlier, I turned my back on my son for about 3 minutes (to do dishes). He's one of those kids that you just can't look away from...well, he went into the bathroom and picked up one of our chicks. I came in to find a dying chick. It died in front of my eyes. Horrible day. Sometimes I just want to give that kid to my mom until we are through this storm and this season. I have to remind myself, "This too shall pass." It doesn't last forever! Thank God. I have 2 older kids and I know...it doesn't last forever. It does get better.

Thanks for the post. I need to have a little cry now. Just to release the stress hormones.
Awwwww...Shara, I have big shoulders! Cry it out! Let those tears flow! Sorry it has been such a rough day for you. You know that it's all part of the "sisterhood" of motherhood. These rough days, much like the pain of labor, will one day be difficult to recall.

I know that he was just "loving" on the chick with the intensity of a 2.5 year old. This is the same kid who loves so much on those dolls he is always taking care of, tucking in, and watching over. He is the sweetest, most adorable child

Still, I can imagine how sad it must have been. I'm sorry.

Blue skies are on the horizon...even if it's cloudy and dark right now.

Breathe!
Breathe!
Breathe

Hugs,
Wendy
Thanks for reminding me of that. I needed it! He can be so gentle and sweet and LOVES his baby dolls, yes. People in town know that he comes along, with dolls in hand. LOL.

Today he was saying, "Baby chick. Baby chick." So you are likely right - he went in to love on them...a little TOO much. When he saw the chick lying there, eyes closed, he cried and ran to the couch, covered himself in a blanket and didn't want to get up for a few minutes. He was sad. I do hope he learned a lesson...thanks for the pick-me-up :-)

"Tomorrow is always fresh - with no mistakes in it." Anne of Green Gables
To all who are in the midst of storms know that there is always sunshine after the darkness. I know as I have had my share of stormy weather. Parenting is also like the tide on the ocean... ebbs and flows and occasionally comes crashing in!

The important part is to know that when you feel that you can't weather the storms yourself to seek help, support and do whatever it takes to get through with all safe and sane.

Hugs to those who feel they are in the darkness-
~Louise Sattler, Owner of SIGNING FAMILIES
Shara,

He is the sweetest.

And...tomorrow is always fresh. So is the next second! =)

Wendy
Louise,

You are so right. Seek support and help when needed. SO important!

Hope you are having a great day!

Wendy =)
naomi said…
I always slow down - slower than usual so my children have my full attention and we work together on the problem. Sometimes you can feel the pressure rising and it is important to feel and recognise it so that the top does not blow. Well that's what I do and think it helps to work on the build up before it happens.
That's excellent, Naomi! Yes...an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Wendy =)
emndrewsmom said…
Hi. I stumbled upon your site & feel like its just what I need. Ive been struggling with my 9 yr old daughter's mood swings & anger outburts. She can go from sweet to scary in 5 seconds. Any tips on homework help. It can he pure hell to be honest. She gets very frustrated does not want help, has major control issues & is very quick to give up. Help!
Hi emndrewsmom,

Welcome to our blog! So glad you found us! From what you describe,it sounds as if your daughter would benefit greatly from learning how to manage BIG emotions. Our Anger Toolbox will help, as will any number of articles and resources that help kids learn how to deal with feelings. Some kids are just MORE intense than others and need us to be "the calm" for them. I'll try to do a whole blog post on it. Too long to answer here! ~Wendy

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